It’s funny how you get married, buy a house that you think is a big house, and then fill it with children and all the things that go into having children. The house seems much smaller over a period of time. The one thing that really begins to creep up on you is the accumulation of Chinese made plastic crap, or what we call toys. My oldest just turned 5 last week and I just found myself overwhelmed the other day with toys.
Have tons of Chinese plastics in your house creeps up on you! Think about it, the cat lady had to start with the ownership of one cat. No sane person just accumulates a 100 cats in one day. I’m sure she just rescued one cat. One cat turned into two cats. Two cats turned into 5 cats and so on. That lady didn’t know she was becoming a cat lady until her kids and neighbors stepped in and said “hey, crazy lady, you have way too many cats!” Well people, that’s how it happens with toys.
You start off with the baby party and all the women purchasing new baby stuff. Then, there is the “just had the baby” toys; this consists of stuffed animals and chew rings. Here comes Christmas and the loud and obnoxious toys. After that, the first birthday with books and other loud toys. Then another Christmas and a birthday. At two years old we start introducing Lego Duplos into our toy orgy that is happening in every room at this point. You have more kids which multiplies the toys exponentially (I have three children). Finally, you end up getting the snow shovel out in the basement to pile them up so you can begin the sorting like some factory worker; video posted below.
As you notice, a lot of those toys are legos. My lego problems are a different story. Like this small bastard in the picture below that would take down a full grown rhinoceros if he stepped on it. I call this one the lego land mine.
You could sprinkle those little lego flowers (land mines) around every point of entry around your house and leave the doors unlocked. Any poor bastard that comes into your house will surely go down. So not cleaning up is more like home defense right? The struggle is real!
However, I am complaining of a First World problem similar to “my house is so big I can’t get my WIFI to work on the other side of the house” kind of problems. Still, these freaking toys drive me crazy sometimes.